Socially Inapt

When I moved from Croatia to London, I practically moved from ‘who you are’ culture to ‘what you do’ one. Social mobility back home was mostly based on who your closest relatives were: if they belonged to the right ethnic group which would subsequently give them enough social power. Stick with them, and you’re guaranteed a good job in any industry where they have connections. Meritocracy and individual talent are unheard of virtues in that context. On the other hand, moving up on the social ladder, even schmoozing around at a party, in London means impressing people with what you do. Creative industry, academia and high positions in a charitable organization are worth the loudest sighs of approval. You will know you’ve delivered a powerful self-presentation if people never leave your sight, offer you a top-up or a free joint. And if there is a polite, but undoubtedly hollow, invitation ‘you must come round to our place sometimes’ while you’re saying good bye to the guests, it means you have become integrated in your new cultural environment. If this is all there is to social life on either sides, I can positively define myself as socially inapt. What I am looking for in communication still has no clear name, but I’ll let you know when it dawns on me. Until then, I will happily stay at home enjoying solitude.